is Rebecca. But my friends call me Becky. Many people have
written, asking why I got involved in The Religious Freedom
Coalition of the Southeast and the First Amendment Coalition and
helped sponsor a web site which exposes the Religious Right and
shows most Christian Fundamentalists as mean and spiteful.
some, I'm the devil's handmaiden. To some, I'm a cursed
liberal. To some, I'm a true believer searching for real
answers. To some, I am a seeker looking for the truth. and to
some, I'm just a Pagan.
to think of myself as a true believer. For many years I
considered myself a Born Again Christian, having accepted Christ
as my savior when I was thirteen. I believed in the Trinity,
that Christ was God incarnate, that he was born of a virgin and
died on a cross for our sins. I believed God raised him on the
third day and that he would return one day. I believed the
Holy Spirit was given to us so that God may dwell within us. I
also believed that when I got married, I should submit to my
husband's will, in spite of the mental abuse I suffered.
fact, when this Web site was first created, I still believed
most of the above. Then we began to investigate the Christian
Right and ultimately expanded it to include "Compassionate
Conservatives" and all other Right Wing fundamentalists. I soon
began to discover an ugly and disturbing truth.
Christ, whoever he really was in the end, is said to have told
the world we would know true people of God by their
unconditional love. And, "By their works may they be known." If
there is any truth to those words, then the nearly 7,000 "true
believers" who have e-mailed to threaten and condemn my life to
hell for speaking my mind, have proven beyond a doubt that they
are not people of God after all although they surely believe
to believe I was. I went to Church each Sunday, watching fellow
"Christians" pat each other on the back for being such good
people and heard them tell each other how much they've grown
spiritually each week. I watched them hurry out after church so
they could sin again, usually against those with whom they
the past two years, as I read the responses from "Christians"
all over the world (this site has received almost 7,000 email
responses and has seen over 400 thousand visitors), I began to
seriously doubt my former beliefs. Even those who greatly
oppose me cannot agree on what it means to be a Christian, or
Moslem or Jew (or Pagan for that matter). And as I challenged
and challenged and challenged people to show me why their faith
or religion was the correct one, it all boiled down to one
argument: people believe what they believe because it gives them
some kind of personal experience and satisfaction. The whole
thing boils down to an extremely subjective basis for
determining truth - that is, that if I feel something
extraordinary has happened to me because of my belief, then it
must be the one true faith.
found that those who claimed to have the "true" faith are unable
to prove their contention once their beliefs are challenged.
Then they become mean, petty, and extremely abusive - all things
I would consider the antithesis of unconditional love.
problem is that people of all religions claim that they have
experienced a wonderful religious experience, which supports
their mutually exclusive dogmas. I've had Catholics tell me I
was wrong because their experience showed them the Pope was the
true authority and, therefore, abortion was wrong. I've had
Conservative Christian Fundamentalists tell me the exact same
thing, except they substitute the Bible for the Catholic's Papal
Authority. I've had Mormons tell me the exact same thing, except
they substitute their emotional testimony about the authenticity
of the Book of Mormon for the Protestant's Bible. I have had
Moslems and Jews give me similar arguments.
Needless to say, this huge exposure to what people of "faith"
truly believe has been a real eye opener for me. But that was
not the biggest cause for losing my former belief.
been condemned to hell. I have been called a handmaiden from
Hell and a follower of Satan. I have had multiple death threats
against myself, and my family, for defending positions counter
to the "true" Christian position. But even sadder than all of
that is the thousands upon thousands of people who have written
to say they would pray for me. Of course you would think that
sounds like a pretty good thing, but in fact most of those
messages say roughly, "You are so wrong about God; I'm going to
pray that God will open your eyes." This is nothing less than a
declaration by these thousands of people that they've somehow
got a better corner on the market of God's truth than I have. It
is purely selfish and self-righteous on their part. Out of all
those thousands only three wrote to say they would pray for both
themselves and me in an effort to ask God to guide us all. Those
people made me think that there may be hope yet. Perhaps we will
someday learn to look beyond our own ego, which wants us to be
right about everything.
spiritual journey has been a long one. I have worked in
nondenominational fundamentalist churches, in Baptist churches,
as well as in Presbyterian and Methodist churches. All those
experiences taught me a great deal. All of those churches
loosely agreed on basic truths of the Christian faith. But they
all differed in many important ways. At that time the only real
problems I had with any of them was when they took their less
important ideologies and held them on equal status with the
fundamentals of the faith. This is when conflicts would arise.
Each group ultimately generated its own cult of Christianity
rather than try to discover the universal truths of the faith
that could bind all believers. Rather than spend our time
searching for the heart of God, we often spent considerable
resources defending our little corner of the Christian world.
this as our reality, our church faced an almost schizophrenic
dilemma when we sought to put forth the idea that we were all
"united in Christ." Rather than agree on the essentials and
agree to share our differing understandings of the rest, we
simply adopted the unspoken rule not to openly criticize other
Christians while we still continued to teach our particular
brand of Christianity behind our own doors. This is dishonest at
best, and it led observers from outside the faith to brand us as
phonies. And they were right.
still a believer, the single greatest argument I received for
why I should not speak against the Christian or Religious Right
was that by doing so I would make non-believers think Christians
were not united or did not believe the same way. The truth is,
all Christians are not united and do not believe the same. Some
are ultra right fanatics and would kill all non-believers. Some
are ultra left fanatics and would have all churches be the same.
rather than confess our differences, which would have been
honest, we glossed over them, which is why many non-believers
continue to see Christians as espousing a fake unity. They don't
see a highly diverse group of people united as the Body of
Christ. They see a highly diverse group of people divided into
clans who live in an uneasy peace in order to disguise the fact
that they think their brand of Christianity is better than
I continue to believe in a loving Great Spirit, but I have found
that the Bible is not his Word, nor can I claim myself to be a
follower of the Christ most Christians follow. I have become one
of the most liberal people I know. In reality, it was my search
as a Christian that has led me to be more liberal in my
thinking. In other words, I started out quite conservative
theologically and politically, but through seeking to understand
God and seeing how Grace is needed to heal the troubles of the
world; I have been driven to adopt more liberal attitudes toward
how we should treat others.
not believe abortion is wrong. I do not believe a person begins
at conception. I do not believe God thinks that a single-cell
zygote is equal with a full-term human baby, and I have not
found any Scripture that makes me believe otherwise. I've asked
all my detractors to find a verse in the Bible that states that
an abortion is the same as a murder. So far none have found
one. All we have are verses from which we must infer (which is
to interpret) what we should believe. And as soon as we
interpret we are injecting our own thinking into our search for
truth, making it suspect at best.
find no problem with homosexuality. It is a naturally occurring
part of life. When a Christian uses the Bible to condemn,
harass and belittle homosexuals, they are doing Satan's work and
are just plain evil. On a humorous note, it's funny how many
people have assumed I must be gay in order to have taken the
positions I have.
not. If anything, I like men too much. In fact I have been
called a nut for being a Michael Bolton fan.
Finally, I have a very hard time with the choices made by those
who espouse "compassionate conservative" Christianity. It's not
so much that they want to be part of the legislative process --
it's what they choose to legislate. Why do they want to
legislate against abortion and homosexuality, both issues they
interpret God is against, but they do not want to legislate in
support of giving money to the poor, which most believe God is
for? Why won't they legislate against the use of Tobacco,
which is one of the greatest health problems in our nation? But
they will legislate for the continued unrestricted use of fossil
fuels to pollute our environment.
they feel it is okay to legally force everyone in the country to
live according to their beliefs in regards to reproduction and
sexual orientation, but it ISN'T okay to force everyone to help
feed the poor, house the homeless, and take care of widows and
orphans? Why should one be law while the other is voluntary?
This discrepancy leads many to believe Christians are merely
using God's name to gain support for their personal political
agendas. And when they do that they lose the ability to speak
to those they want to legislate against.
do I personally believe? I'm against forcing a particular
morality on unwilling participants through government
legislation. It is simply not up to me to legally force anyone
else to live or believe as I do. I'm also against censorship.
suppose, in closing, I should tell you a little about myself. I
am 35 years old, of Celtic heritage, and a mother of two
wonderful children. I am wife to a man who has changed from an
abusive self-righteous fundamentalist Christian dictator to a
loving husband and father that puts family before church (yes he
became a pagan). I live in Georgia and work as a computer
consultant. Before going into the computer business I worked
as a youth counselor in several churches for nearly 12 years. I
graduated from College with a degree in Journalism, and I speak
German fluently. I also write poetry and music. I am the
co-director of the Religious Freedom Coalition of the Southeast
http://www.dynionmwyn.net/NationalPolitics/enemies.html ) I have
found my spiritual home with The Celtic Church of Dynion Mwyn.
And I want to thank my co-director, Rhuddlwm Gawr, my teacher
and mentor for letting me vent here.